Alt Text: How to Tell Real SEALs From Basement-Dwelling Posers

On the internet, it can be difficult to separate actual soldiers from impostors. Here’s how to go on poser patrol.
Image: iStockphoto

The White House recently congratulated the makers of Troop ID, a service designed to help online merchants securely identify members of the armed forces. This was a significant recommendation, the first software application to be publicly praised by the president since he canceled a 2009 press conference in order to play Doodle Jump.

While I’m happy that troops will be able to claim their 10 percent discount on water bottles and mock turtlenecks, I’m a bit disappointed that the service is apparently only being used in a retail context. After the whole Stolen Valor saga, you’d think there’d be a huge demand for a secure way to vet self-described vets.

Here’s a statistic: While there are only 2,500 active-duty Navy SEALs at any given time, there are approximately 4 million people claiming to be current or former Navy SEALs in various chat rooms and message boards on the internet. This is because any argument is 200 percent more convincing when presented by a Navy SEAL.

A couple of examples:

Unconvincing: “As a mall food court assistant supervisor, I believe that our mission in Afghanistan is necessary to the stability of the Middle East.”
Convincing: “As a Navy SEAL, I believe that our mission in Afghanistan is necessary to the stability of the Middle East.”

Unconvincing: “As a teaching assistant in comparative literature, I believe that The Silmarillion is vastly overrated by Tolkien fans.”
Convincing: “As a Navy SEAL, I believe that The Silmarillion is vastly overrated by Tolkien fans.”

With results like that, it’s no wonder that people are attempting to fraudulently win arguments by pretending to be members of elite military squads like the SEALs, the Green Berets, the Army Rangers and occasionally G.I. Joe. It seems to me that Troop ID could be used to distinguish the Special Forces from the basement-dwelling posers.

Once we have that technology in place, we could easily expand it to ferret out other internet pretenders. For instance, before you claim that you’re going to show up at someone’s house and beat them up, or argue that you’d have a mugger in a headlock before he could say “hand over the cash,” you’d be expected to use the ToughGuy ID service to certify that you have actually, at some point, won a fight that wasn’t against a sibling at least four years younger than you.

Our founding fathers created the First Amendment protections on free speech for a good reason: because it’s freaking hilarious.

Or before you can declare that the solution to the “fiscal cliff” crisis is obvious to anyone who knows anything about economics, you’d be expected to provide proof to Expert ID that your main credentials in economics aren’t limited to having seen both Atlas Shrugged movies.

I say “expected to” because I’m not saying that you would have to sign up for these services. Goodness no, my ludicrous and improbable fantasies aren’t that tyrannical. I believe that our founding fathers created the First Amendment protections on free speech for a good reason: because it’s freaking hilarious. There’s nothing more fun than watching someone weave ever-more-desperate lies to cover up their unwillingness to either put, or shut, up.

However, I do think there’s one vital concern that overrides the right to free speech: Before commenting on a humor column on the web, everyone should be required to take a simple test that would confirm that they have the basic human ability to recognize sarcasm and hyperbole.

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Born helpless, naked and unable to provide for himself, Lore Sjöberg overcame these handicaps to become a commando, a commandant and a cormorant

zombie flamingo

Zombie Flamingos are just the perfect accessory for the home that has everything

Death of a cyborg

Here's Shorra's "Death of a Cyborg," and it's lovely

Another Hole In The Head 2012: Horror, Sci-Fi, Fantasy Film Festival

By EDW Lynch on November 26, 2012

SF Indiefest presents the 9th annual Another Hole In The Head film festival, a showcase of international independent horror, sci-fi, and fantasy films, November 28 to December 9, 2012 (video). Tickets are available online.

Mad Max meets zombies in indie Aussie movie "Wyrmwood

Cory Doctorow at 3:15 pm • 26 •

Here's a seven-minute teaser for "Wyrmwood," an indie zombie movie from Australia that merges zombies with Mad Max. It's really a very, very good little short on its own, and convinced me to kick in $20 towards the production fundraiser on Indiegogo. I want to see this movie get made

ohhh please............

With Stickers, a Petition and Even a Middle Name, Secession Fever Hits Texas

HOUSTON — In the weeks since President Obama’s re-election, Republicans around the country have been wondering how to proceed. Some conservatives in Texas have been asking a far more pointed question: how to secede.

LM Otero/Associated Press

Larry Scott Kilgore

Secession fever has struck parts of Texas, which Mitt Romney won by nearly 1.3 million votes.

Sales of bumper stickers reading “Secede” — one for $2, or three for $5 — have increased at TexasSecede.com. In East Texas, a Republican official sent out an e-mail newsletter saying it was time for Texas and Vermont to each “go her own way in peace” and sign a free-trade agreement among the states.

A petition calling for secession that was filed by a Texas man on a White House Web site has received tens of thousands of signatures, and the Obama administration must now issue a response. And Larry Scott Kilgore, a perennial Republican candidate from Arlington, a Dallas suburb, announced that he was running for governor in 2014 and would legally change his name to Larry Secede Kilgore, with Secede in capital letters. As his Web page, secedekilgore.com, puts it: “Secession! All other issues can be dealt with later.”

In Texas, talk of secession in recent years has steadily shifted to the center from the fringe right. It has emerged as an echo of the state Republican leadership’s anti-Washington, pro-Texas-sovereignty mantra on a variety of issues, including health care and environmental regulations. For some Texans, the renewed interest in the subject serves simply as comic relief after a crushing election defeat.

But for other proponents of secession and its sister ideology, Texas nationalism — a focus of the Texas Nationalist Movement and other groups that want the state to become an independent nation, as it was in the 1830s and 1840s — it is a far more serious matter.

The official in East Texas, Peter Morrison, the treasurer of the Hardin County Republican Party, said in a statement that he had received overwhelming support from conservative Texans and overwhelming opposition from liberals outside the state in response to his comments in his newsletter. He said that it may take time for “people to appreciate that the fundamental cultural differences between Texas and other parts of the United States may be best addressed by an amicable divorce, a peaceful separation.”

The online petitions — created on the We the People platform at petitions.whitehouse.gov — are required to receive 25,000 signatures in 30 days for the White House to respond. The Texas petition, created Nov. 9 by a man identified as Micah H. of Arlington, had received more than 116,000 signatures by Friday. It asks the Obama administration to “peacefully grant” the withdrawal of Texas, and describes doing so as “practically feasible,” given the state’s large economy.

Residents in other states, including Alabama, Florida, Colorado, Louisiana and Oklahoma, have submitted similar petitions, though none have received as many signatures as the one from Texas.

A White House official said every petition that crossed the signature threshold would be reviewed and would receive a response, though it was unclear precisely when Micah H. would receive his answer.

Gov. Rick Perry, who twice made public remarks in 2009 suggesting that he was sympathetic to the secessionist cause, will not be signing the petition. “Governor Perry believes in the greatness of our union, and nothing should be done to change it,” a spokeswoman, Catherine Frazier, said in a statement. “But he also shares the frustrations many Americans have with our federal government.”

The secession movement in Texas is divergent, with differences in goals and tactics. One group, the Republic of Texas, says that secession is unnecessary because, it claims, Texas is an independent nation that was illegally annexed by the United States in 1845. (The group’s leader and other followers waged a weeklong standoff with the Texas Rangers in 1997 that left one of its members dead.) Mr. Kilgore, the candidate who is changing his middle name, said he had not signed the White House petition because he did not believe that Texans needed to ask Washington for permission to leave.

“Our economy is about 30 percent larger than that of Australia,” said Mr. Kilgore, 48, a telecommunications contractor. “Australia can survive on their own, and I don’t think we’ll have any problem at all surviving on our own in Texas.”

Few of the public calls for secession have addressed the messy details, like what would happen to the state’s many federal courthouses, prisons, military bases and parklands. No one has said what would become of Kevin Patteson, the director of the state’s Office of State-Federal Relations, and no one has asked the Texas residents who received tens of millions of dollars in federal aid after destructive wildfires last year for their thoughts on the subject.

But all the secession talk has intrigued liberals as well. Caleb M. of Austin started his own petition on the White House Web site. He asked the federal government to allow Austin to withdraw from Texas and remain part of the United States, “in the event that Texas is successful in the current bid to secede.” It had more than 8,000 signatures as of Frida

Caviar vending machines in LA malls

Caviar vending machines have been installed in three upscale malls in LA. In addition to $500/oz caviar, they also dispense blinis, mother of pearl spoons, and other caviar essentials. The vending machines (they're billed as "ATMs for caviar") can be found at Westfield Century City, Westfield Topanga, and the Burbank Towne Center. Apparently, these are old news in Russia, where they are favorites of oligarchs and their entourages

Staffers for millionaire/wrestling magnate/failed GOP Senate candidate say they were stiffed, got bad checks and condoms: "you're screwed

Cory Doctorow at 6:45 am • 33 •

Linda McMahon (a wrestling magnate who built up the WWE with her husband Vince McMahon) is a failed Republican Senate candidate in Connecticut with a reported net worth of $500M, who has spent a reported $100M on a pair of failed Senate bids. She has also reportedly stiffed her staffers, who claim that they were sent bounced checks from the campaign, and, when they complained, were sent more rubber checks, along with a condom and a message saying "you're screwed." From CBS:

Campaign staffer Twaine Don Gomes was reportedly among the first to make the matter of the bad checks public knowledge through local news media – an action which allegedly inspired the campaign to send a second check with something extra. “Basically he handed me a check with a condom in it, told me I was screwed,” Gomes told WTNH. “That’s the rudest gesture you can ever do to a person, it’s like spitting in a person’s face

word.........

Cheesus Christ Cheese Grater

“Our Grate Lord.”

The Cheesus Christ Grater is a stainless steel novelty cheese grater emblazoned with the image of Jesus Christ. It is available to purchase online at PrezziesPlus. Perhaps all that cheese you grate could be used to make a sandwich in your Grilled Cheesus sandwich press.

in the spirt of giving...........

The tree-like ornament is made of 88 pounds of pure gold, standing about 7.9 ft high ... It is decorated with pure gold plate silhouette cutouts of 50 popular Disney characters and draped with ribbons made of gold leaf. The price tag? A mere $4.2 million.

Texas student suspended for refusing RFID tracker

Cory Doctorow at 8:55 am • 149 •

A student in San Antonio, TX, has been suspended from school for refusing wear a RFID tracking device on privacy and religious grounds (she believes the tracker is somehow related to the "Mark of the Beast"). The school's funding is based on student attendance, so they use prisoner-style trackers to follow students' movements. A judge has temporarily reversed the suspension

Star Wars: The Ultimate Action Figure Collection, 35 Years of Characters

The upcoming Chronicle Books published Star Wars: The Ultimate Action Figure Collection paperback book by world-renowned Star Wars collector and author Stephen Sansweet will feature over 2,500 action figures from the Star Wars universe that have been produced in the past 35 years. It is currently available to pre-order at Chronicle Books and Amazon, with a publication date of November 28th.

Here at last is the complete and definitive collection of the more than 2,500 Star Wars action figures produced over the last 35 years. Fans and collectors can finally trace the evolution of each character in toy form from the time of their first appearance through the designs of today, with pages of amazing and inventive variations crafted to tell the stories of Luke Skywalker, Darth Maul, and literally hundreds more. Compiled by Stephen J. Sansweet, owner of the world’s largest private collection of Star Wars memorabilia, the book also showcases and details the rare, popular, forgotten, and beloved figures coveted by fans the world over, drawing figures from the feature film, video game, and cartoon realms of the vast Star Wars universe.

dig it.............

Mine Kafon; a bamboo tumbleweed that clears landmines

Cory Doctorow at 2:13 am • 17 •

The "Mine Kafon" is Massoud Hassani's artificial tumbleweed, made from lightweight materials like bamboo. It is designed to be blown across uncleared minefields, detonating forgotten mines. It was Hassani's grad design project for Design Academy Eindhoven. It continuously broadcasts its location, captured via GPS, plotting out safe, mine-free paths through the fields.

the prototype

natural city

Scott DesJarlais Approved Wife's Abortion, Slept With Coworkers, Patients, Court Records Say

 

News

WASHINGTON -- The anti-abortion, pro-family Tennessee congressman who pushed his patient and mistress to get an abortion also agreed that his wife should have two, according to court transcripts released Thursday.
Those documents, from GOP Rep. Scott DesJarlais' 2000 divorce proceedings, paint a lurid picture of a doctor who had multiple affairs with coworkers and patients -- at least one of whom he prescribed pain pills for -- while he was chief of staff at a local hospital.

The Huffington Post first reported that DesJarlais pressured one of his patients to abort a pregnancy that she said came from their flings. The doctor calls the 24-year-old a "psycho" in the transcript of his testimony. DesJarlais won reelection last week, even after reports surfaced that he had sex with other patients, and that he prescribed them pills. DesJarlais admitted the HuffPost report, but challenged the credibility of the later case.

It turns out it was all true, as well as reports that he denied during his 2010 campaign that he stuck a gun in his mouth for more than two hours, and threatened suicide after it became apparent he could not repair his marriage with his then-wife, Susan.

Although DesJarlais called the 2010 reports "all false", he testified under oath they were true.

"It's very embarrassing to talk about. I know better than this," DesJarlais said at the time. His wife also accused him of dry-firing the gun outside her bedroom, although DesJarlais testified he had only been spinning the empty chamber of a revolver.
"I deal with people in the hospital that do this," DesJarlais said. "Suicide threats is [sic] probably the most immature form of attention-seeking behavior that there is and I resorted to that on this evening and I regret it, I regret that she felt threatened by it, and I'm very ashamed of it."

The gun incident was in September 2000, the same week that DesJarlais admitted to his wife that his patient might be pregnant. The couple's marriage had been on the rocks since 1998, when she accused him of breaking their vows. He had been trying to reconcile when his doctor-patient relationship became a problem.
DesJarlais said he suspected at the time that the woman was not pregnant, and he and his wife decided to record the phone call. HuffPost obtained the transcript of that call in October. It is unclear if the woman ever got an abortion. She testified that she was pregnant, but declined to say how the pregnancy ended.
In the wake of the revelations, DesJarlais insisted that he was anti-abortion. But the news that his wife had two abortions -- one for medical reasons and another because the couple agreed a child was not a good idea -- could call into question the sincerity of DesJarlais' position.
"Things were not going well between us and it was a mutual decision," DesJarlais said of the elective abortion. "I don't think that it was easy for either one of us. I think it was a very difficult and poor choice and I think that there are probably regrets both ways."
Several prominent local Republicans have been mentioned as potential primary challengers in the next election, if DesJarlais decides to remain in Congress. DesJarlais' office had no immediate comment on the document.
Whether or not he should resign is likely to become a pressing question. House Speaker John Boehner's did not answer a request for comment. Aside from the new details, which DesJarlais has said are merely part of his messy breakup -- the congressman is facing a probe by the Tennessee Board of Medical Examiners, and some of his explanations and denials are apparently lies, based on his own testimony.

Aside from denying the gun incident, DesJarlais also argued that the tape recording was made without his knowledge.

And his admissions that he had sex with other patients, including the woman who got Darvocet from him, are likely to raise the stakes in the medical board's probe. Tennessee law deems any sex between doctors and patients to be serious medical misconduct. Penalties range from reprimands to license suspension.
It's not clear what the fallout from sex with workers at the hospital would be, but DesJarlais admits to that as well. In one case, he hooked up with a technician at the hospital Christmas party in 1999, then took her home with him. Among other details, Desjarlais kept photos of himself with one of his patient-sex partners, which his wife later found during their reconciliation.
She also acknowledges she strayed in the relationship. DesJarlais has since remarried, and used his family man, doctor image in most of his campaign literature

Rocket defense of Beersheva

If I am to trust Dennis Wilen's translation, these are inbound Hamas rockets intercepted outside of Beersheva by Israel's 'Iron Dome' rocket defense system. It also seems the video was taken from a wedding. It is a sad but interesting technology.

Burning Man 2012 Time-Lapse

Michael Perrow recently completed this nearly 6-minute long time-lapse video using images captured at Burning Man 2012

Abraham Obama Electoral Map 2012 Print by Ron English

To celebrate Barack Obama and his second term Presidential win, New York contemporary artist Ron English has released a Abraham Obama Electoral Map 2012 print that is based off of his 2008 Abraham Obama painting, which brings together both 16th President Abraham Lincoln and newly re-elected 44th President Barack Obama. A limited edition of 44 signed and numbered prints are