Coming to Kindle and Smashwords

Coming to Kindle and Smashwords
November 2013

May 19, 2011

cthuluh resume

Cthulhu

Cell: 555-666-7777
Email:
I am an outgoing and energetic (ask anybody) young professional, seeking a career that fits my professional skills, personality, and murderous tendencies. My squid-like head is a masterful problem solver and inspires fear in who gaze upon it. I can bring world domination to your organization.
Education

R'lyeh Community College

Major: Public Relations Minor: Scale Tending
Skills

Office skills

Office and records management, database administration, event organization, customer support, travel coordination

Computer skills

Microsoft productivity software (Word, Excel, etc), Adobe Creative Suite, Windows
Experience

Doomsday Cult Leader/Overlord - Baton Rogue, LA - 1926-2010

  • Inspired and won highest peasant death competition among servants
  • Helped coordinate managers to grow cult following
  • Provided untimely deaths to all who opposed

The Watering Hole Bartender/Server - Milwaukee, WI - 2009

  • Worked on grass-roots promotional campaigns
  • Reduced theft and property damage percentages
  • Janitorial work, Laundry
Hobbies
World Domination, Deep Sea Diving, Murder Most Foul, Naps
References
Available on request

1 comment:

Spencer Troxell said...

Is this an ape original? Nice.